Family Travel and Autism

For my own quiet week of vacation, I am flying to San Francisco for $300 on the red eye.  I considered staying in hotels and renting a car. Two star hotels run about $100 per night and a car rental is 250.  That would be $1200.  I wasn’t in love with this idea because it meant making a reservation and plan in general.  I hoped to travel freely without an agenda.  If I wanted to stay somewhere longer, I could without penalty.  I also wanted to spend time in the redwoods and that meant staying in a national park.  Using the maximum guide of $1200, I evaluated my other options.

I considered renting a campervan for rent out of San Francisco.  Very hippy dippy.  Had a bed and gas camper stove.  I also looked into renting a small RV.  A small RV for the week without bedding and utilities ran about $600.  Campervan was$400.  While the campervan had plates, stove and bedding – and the RV did not – I decided on the RV.  I took the smallest one available at  19 feet. Why?  It had a bathroom.  Now I am completely mobile and still well under the $1200 budget even with airfare. Plus I get the luxury of traveling where I want when.  I also rented a small enough RV that I can manage it on the narrow coastal roads. I couldn’t imagine renting a 30 footer for that narrow Redwood Coastal Highway!

I also like the idea of a microwave for my own food.  A refrigerator for my own drinks.  I can pack a sleeping bag in the corner of my suitcase.  A plate, cup, knife, and fork don’t take much room.  And I  save the $150 rental fee. 

In full disclosure, I did have to book a pay-for-suitcase-cheap flight.  But the cost for a suitcase is only $20 each way. So for $40 I can pack exactly what I need instead of renting for $150.

I calculated all of my costs?  Nope,  I need to consider gas, tolls, food, and souvenirs as well. I understand gas will be expensive. An RV on the west coast?  Of course it will be costly.  And there isthe cost of campgrounds.  In order tos have cost, I hope to use my national park handicapped pass for a discount or to stay overnight in Walmart type lots as needed.  That should help. Souvenirs can be low key and memorable.  Lots of pics via cell phone.  Magnets and keychains for my daughterscollections.  Most of all, junior ranger books for my son.  Finally, keep within budget as a present for my husband.

I have been back for almost a week.  I hope to a full accounting of expenses by next week.  I know that I underestimated gasoline expense.  I also underestimated campground costs.  So we will see how I did at the end.

Here is thefirst of two truth articles. The bottom line.  How much does it cost?

In June, we vacationed on the Outer Banks.  I discovered years ago that renting a placeon the beach is totally dependent on the real estate principal – location, location, and location.  While location can determine the price, you may not want to stay where it is affordable.

For example, I prefer national parks, outdoors, few people,and slow pace.  My sister prefers not to vacation with us because she likes a city with lots of restaurants and nightlife.  That would just tire me out.

My first piece of advice is to determine what type of vacation you like.  If you like the city, then determine which city and what you want to do.  Airfare can be a problem but with sites like farecast and airfarewatchdog you can fly across the country, with your family.  For the five of us to fly to New York City (LaGuardia) is round trip $200 per person.  The same cost as flying round trip to Florida or Kansas City. To go the west coast from here in Ohio, it is an average of $350 per person.  Knowing these numbers helps me in budgeting.  I set aside the money for the next year, or put aside some each month, for that big family trip.

I travel to NYC every few months.  The family travels with me frequently.  We have squeezed into one-bed hotel rooms tripping over ours muggled sleeping bags.  I found several good deals on two room suites that slept everyone comfortably for an average of $200 per night (a steal in NYC!)  We also borrowed an apartment from a friend. 

 When we travel to places like the Outer Banks, the first decision is to decide length of time. Due to the twelve-hour drive, I like for this to be the family week-long vacation.  We rent a house usually far from the crowds.  Why?  Mostly because I can rent four times the house for half the price.  For example,in the high season, we rented a three bedroom near the ocean (one block off)for $695.  Full kitchen, washer/driver, family room, outside shower and short walk to the beach.  The down side – we were a hike from any semblance of civilization.  Worked for me though   Quiet days.  Beach walks.  Making dinner with the kids not for the kids.  Space for my autistic son to stretch out.

Factor in meals, gas, and trinkets; our week trip tothe outer banks was around $1100.  Only$400 for food and souvenirs?  Sure, weate out only once.  The rest was normal food just as we always spend.  We took out a Food Lion savings card from the local chain to take advantage of local savings.  Souvenirs?  We gathered shells and driftwood.  I also gave the kids $10 apiece to spend in a local shop.  See, we all get what we wanted!

My husband thinks I have gone off the deep end.  I asked if we could arrange the schedules so that I could take a week off by myself to travel.  By yourself?  Yes, a whole week by myself.  Some of you may be scratching your heads.  I imagine most of you are saying to yourself -- ah, a whole week without the kids to do what I when I want where I want.  Heaven.

He agreed.  Such a good man.  I knew that I had to schedule it early because in our house, the children's schedules are priority.  If it goes on the calendar then it is written in gold.  Unmovable, will be done, come heck or high water.  Of course, since I have booked the flight, the week I picked out has filled up with can't miss children's events.  Ugh, I guess I will just have to miss them.  Oh darn.

Many of you have taken a vacation with your family.  And yes, this site is dedicated to promoting family travel.  So why am I writing about taking time on my own.  I have said before, great family time traveling is 99% planning.  I thought I would write about my thought process on planning.  Perhaps it will inspire someone to take their own trips -- with or without the kids.

Stress in a family with a disabled child is a given.  Add to that a life threatening cancer diagnosis and stress doesn't even describe it.  My head has not been in a good place lately.  I have been having a difficult time imaging life post cancer with autism and my own disabilities.  Up to now, my husband was open to me traveling but with a friend.  That way, if something happened, someone would be there to help.

I thought, why not now, by myself.  My latest scans are clear.  I am as physically able as I will ever be.  We have a little in the savings to use (thank you for leaving some money to me Dad and Mom!)  Why not now?  The more I thought, the more I became convinced it was a good idea.

I really looked at from my husband's perspective.  Could I navigate the airport, car rental, maps, hotels, etc. by myself?  If something happened, where would I go for help?  How would I get help?  Would I be too lonely?  Would it be too expensive?

Well, it is true that my memory has been shot by chemotherapy.  So the concerns about navigating the travel process are not far fetched.  Compensation it is then.  Lists were the answer.  Google every aspect of the trip and create many post it note lists.  Review the lists with anyone and everyone who will listen.  And be willing to alter if it means you will be safer.

Now comes in the cell phone.  Up to this summer, my cell phone has been a drug dealer disposable phone.  With my eldest going off to college, we upgraded to a family plan.  Now I have a real cell phone.  I invested in cigerette lighter plug so my short battery life smart phone would be ready at any emergency.  I also planned my route to be near cities yet far from masses of people.  A good balance for my sanity and safety.

Lonely?  Are you kidding?

Expensive.  Well, this could be a problem.  In my next post I will give you a complete breakdown of the costs and compare to recent family trips.  Depending on your own financial situation, it could be a real relevation.

We are in the process of planning our summer vacation.  I just sent a deposit on a house in the Outerbanks of North Carolina.  Ouch!  Yet, still as affordable as we could make it.  By working the seasons and flexing my childrens' schedule, we were able to take advantage of a nice house without the high summer week rates.

My bucket list includes a trip back to the Outter Banks.  As a family we have always the quiet, slow pace of the barrier island.  I enjoy the programs of the National Park.  As we are a very fair family, sun is not our friend.  We spend only a few days or hours outside.  If we are careful, we can swim, search for seashells, fish, play games and sleep.  Of course, the sleep is probably just a wish.

We may go elsewhere this summer.  I would love another trip west but the airfare has not been cooperative.  Summer fares are just starting to come on sale so I hope that something comes up soon.  While we went to the southwest last time, I want to visit Yellowstone and the Pacific Northwest.  Perhaps you have been there?  Do you have any t ips you want to share?

The slope of the path required chains anchored into the sandy rock.  Water poured down the rock not unlike those wall fountains in building lobbies.  The difference here was the steel chains were ice cold and the sand filled water poured down on our heads and inside our shirts.  We pressed against the rock and slowly edged our way across the slippery path.  Half way my daughter panicked.  She refused to move another foot - a literal foot.  My husband had taken our son ahead and he needed everything he had to help my son.  My youngest daughter was at the end of the line taking everything very calmly.

I was the only to help.  I looked directly into her eyes and told her to breathe.  In my mind, I was thinking if you can with sand in your mouth.  Breath and don't look down.  Shift a little at a time and look at me, not down, not up, not out.  Just at me.  In this fashion, we slowly inched our way 20 feet to the level trail and off the chains.  A few short switchbacks later and we were catching our breath under a rock overhang.  We looked out over the valley and the long series of switchbacks that had almost emcapcitated me on the way up.  We rung out sleeves, wiped faces with gritty hands and took a breath.  Until we heard a rumble and gush of water.  I looked down at watched the rock wall over the switchback giveway and tumble down 1,000 feet onto the valley floor.  Behind the rock, water poured out in a smaller waterfall.  It just kept coming.  It never slowed.  The worst part.  It was blocking our path.  We would have to walk through the hard part and then again and again as we went down the switchbacks.

My mind was numbing with cold and my feet were cold.  Wait  a minute, my feet were wet.  The water was pooling around my feet and pouring down the small series of switchbacks we had just walked.  And here we stood under a rock overhang not unlike the one that had just given way.  Smart move midwesterner tourists.

Holding hands and moving slowly so we wouldn't slide down the canyon wall, we left our safe haven.  A few moments later, just before we reached the waterfall, I heard a roar.

Now you don't me all that well.  I have suffered severe hearing loss from chemotherapy.  So if I heard it, it must have been an incredible roar.  I turned to look and the entire rock face gave way to raging waterfall that plummeted 1,500 feet to the floor of the canyon.  Trees, rocks, boulders rushed out with it.  We were witnessing a flash flood.  Just minutes after we left that overhang.

Now it was my daughters turn to help me down.  She took my hand and quietly tugged me forward.  We plowed through the smaller waterfall and all the subsequent waterfalls.  I couldn't take my eyes off the enourmous waterfall now in front of me.  The sound filled my ears and senses.  I admit that I was in shock. 

We finally reached the bottom and the rain had stopped.  The water continued to pour from the top of the canyon cliff and tourists poured from the buses to take pictures.  In halting steps, my family made their way to the bus stop.  We were drenched, white from cold and covered in sand.  We looked as if we had swam in the sea and rolled on the beach.

The looks we got.

The kids were anxious. Antsy and anxious.  They wantedmore excitement and challenge. Adventure.  So far our hikes weresafe and easy for them.  For me, theywere a stretch and exciting.  Of course,my physical challenges are far greater.

For our third day, we decided that my daughters would choosethe days activities.  I provided maps,park newspaper and tour books.  Theypoured over them and selected the hike to hidden canyon.  Hidden canyon was rated a moderate, 2.2 mileroundtrip hike.   We decided to leaveearly in the morning, lunch at the top and return in the early afternoon.

Up and out early by 8:30 am, we were on the bus by 9am.  The base of the trail is located at base ofweeping rock, which is a very popular and beautiful spot.  We started up the series of switchback inorder to ascend 850 feet.  Theswitchbacks were in full sun.  Andsteep.  Very steep.

The trip was supposed to take 3 to 4 hours.  For me, the ascent took almost twohours.  I had to pause at eachswitchback to catch my breath.  I feltso bad for the kids to slow them down. I admit that there were times when I could barely catch my breath.

We finally reached the top where the trail split.  One part of the trail split to the top ofthe canyon and our half split to the hidden canyon.  We continued on towards the hidden canyon and came to our firstset of chains.

For those who rock climb, chains aren’t a surprise.  For those of us who don’t know any better,this was intimidating.  Chains anchoredinto the rock with a sloping, slippery trail. Fun.

Fortunately, this was very short section of only a fewfeet.   Going slowly, we made our waypast the area helping each other over the height and fear.  Just beyond, we hit a long stairs andanother set of chains.  This set waslong, steep and disappeared around a bend.

We were in a conundrum. My middle child was anxious to go. My oldest eager but wary.  Myyoungest hopefully oblivious.  Myhusband worried.  In honest, I was eageras well.   We compromised that I wouldgo with the girls as far as I could and see if it was passable.  Actually, it was not as bad as Ithought.  If we didn’t rush and held onto the chains, the path was doable.  Except that my oldest daughter decided after a short distance to notcontinue.  My middle girl went the wholelength all the way to the canyon.  Shewas the only one who made it.

I paused just prior the entrance of the canyon to catch mybreath and stopped.  We headed back tothe beginning of the chains and that is when the fun started.

Next time . . .

I am working on writing and posting the most traumatic event of our trip.  Life threatening is not an exageration.  In fact, the whole experience was so traumatic that I am not sure the words really reveal the danger.

So, I am going to write now about the real dangers of the national parks.  You are on your own.  Hike at your own risk.  Beware of rock falls, flash floods, wild animals and more.  Those are the warnings posted in the all the national park newspapers.  I read them.  Understood them.  But I thought that if I was careful, nothing would happen to us.  Wrong.

If something happens, think about where you are.  How will they get to you?  How will they find out?  Does anyone know where you are and when you will return?  Do you understand the nature of the weather there?  Geography?  Do you have the right gear?  Yes, these are simple questions that many tourists are asked every year and yet don't heed it.

There is danger.  Preventable danger.  Read the postings and think about them.  Often it only takes a few minutes to really understand what you about to do -- that could save your life.

Until next time.  The headline could have read -- Family of Five Dies In Flash Flood . . . Bodies Never Found

The Grand Canyon Synopsis - South Rim - Hot, crowded, more hotel rooms, more camping spots and more to do.  North Rim - colder year round, fewer people, fewer rooms and sites and less to do.  The view is the same from either side.  There you have it in a nutshell.

We left after several days of exciting, beautiful time viewing the magnificient Grand Canyon.  Next stop, Zion National Park.  I was really looking forward to the next part.  I know that the Grand Canyon is what everyone thinks of but for me it is just too immense to contemplate.   Zion is a canyon approached from the bottom of the canyon.  The canyon also winds so that views unfold before you as travel along it.  Easier I think to process.

We slowly descended from the 8,000 foot altitude to the base of Zion at 4,000 foot.  That descent created an immense rush in all of us.  By that evening in the park, we were all, and I mean all, giggling and laughing far into the night.  After hours of this (yes, we were literally laughing at nothing) I realized that it was the altitude.  The sudden rush of oxygen was making us giddy.  What fun we had that night!

Zion camping is beautiful.  The river winds along the edge with the town just on the other side a short walk away.  The sites are level with trees shading many of the sites.  There are several hotels in town with anything from an ordinary hotel room to cottages and suites.  Be warned though, hotels are very expensive.   In fact, much of the town is expensive.  Springdale is a small artsy town catered purely to tourism.

On the plus side, transportation is a snap.  You cannot drive in the canyon itself.  There is however, buses that run from sun up to sun down through the whole summer.  The stops are frequent and rarely completely crowded.

The visitors center is beautiful and worth a stop itself.  There unique towers anchoring the corners of the building are actually designed to cool the facility.  There are educational exhibits all over the plaza which my son found fascinating.

An important tip, August and September is tarantula mating season.  Is this a real problem?  Not really but if you have a child into bugs, this is the time to go!

My son sure was fascinated!

Of course, I knew all about light  pollution.  In my arrogance, I thought I did.  That was until I experienced the North Rim  of the Grand Canyon.  We have had shooting star alerts here in NE Ohio and on many of those nights were unable to see due to the light pollution.  On several previous camping trips we had star watched in areas with little light.  That was until we reached the Grand Canyon's North Rim.

There isn't any light there.  Any.  At all.  Anywhere.

The result is a sky lit up like fireworks.  More stars than you ever imagined.  Reaching from horizon to horizon.

They were having a star party.  People with telescopes had come from all over just to view the night sky.  They set up on the terrace of the lodge.  Over 25 individuals with powerful telescopes focused on Saturn, galaxies, clusters and more.  What an incredible sight!

Like little children, we hopped from telescope viewing the fantastic sights.  The rings of Saturn!  Twisted clusters of stars!  Other galaxies!  Each individual explained what we were looking at and patiently handled all the questions Adam could ask.  They loved sharing their knowledge with the kids.

A fantastic opportunity for all!

Here is a jpg of what the earth looks like at night.  Makes you really think about the phrase "I'll leave the light on for you."

http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/planetary/image/earth_night.jpg

The North Rim is a beautiful 30 mile drive through heavily wooded country.  The one way drive ends in a scenic area with a old, beautiful lodge.  The lodge is built right on the rim with magnificent views.  Actually, the lodge is worth the visit itself.

The campgrounds are adjacent to the lodge with a scenic hike between along the canyon.  The best part of the North Rim are the reduced crowds.  As opposed to the south rim, there are very few people.  It is easy to find a quiet part of the trail and just enjoy the views.

We had a large quiet site at the edge and near the canyon overlook.  We were only a few sites from the bathhouse.  I mention this because the altitude was a real issue.  At first I didn't notice it but the first morning, I was moving very slowly.  By mid morning, I was dizzy and laying on the bed.  The mile hike to the lodge was very difficult.  My kids won't admit it but I know that they were struggling as well.

By day two, I had a trouble even making it to the bathhouse.  I spent a good part of the day taking it easy and the rest explored.  On top of the altitude, we were having trouble with the weather.  The cooler weather comes with the alittude but this was cooler than normal.  In the evening the temperature dropped to 32 degrees.  Sweatshirts, coats and mulitple layers were the norm.

Day three was much easier.  We all had acclimated and were doing much better.  So much better, my husband and daughters attempted to hike to the bottom.   Of course, it is impossible to hike to the bottom in one day.  Actually, you can reach the bottom in one day.  You just can't make it back in the same day.  They made half way down.  They left early around 6 am and returned around dinner.  The way down only took  a couple hours but the walk back was twice as long.  Keep in mind there were several miles to hike before they reached the rim.

Tip - Watch the alittude.  It can be a real problem.